How We Did It (no not that)

I'm writing about this on our blog mostly as a record to myself of the milestone and to remind myself that one of the most important things about parenting is choosing a path and sticking to it, staying consistent and committed with your husband.

Maddox sleeps through the night now. It's wonderful, not just for me but for him as well. I could never have imagined such a change just from sleeping through the night. He is so much happier, so much more content during the day and so much more consistent with his naps. I could not have believed it if I didn't witness it day after day. And although the sleep road is paved with gold at the moment (I fully understand that his sleep patterns could change in the blink of an eye) the path to get there was full of rocks and bumps and crags.

The following is how we did it. And I should add a disclaimer -- the following may shock some parents. We did exactly what worked for us. If at any moment the methods we used stopped working we would have stopped implementing them immediately. But it did work. And I should add that Maddox is an exceptionally good baby (in the opinion of his mother) and has always been a good sleeper when he slept. He picked up a few bad habits along the way when he was sick a few times, but he has usually been pretty consistent. I don't necessarily advocate the method we used because it doesn't work for all parents or babies. It was SO SO SO hard. Nothing we did was easy. It would have been much easier for us to get up, give him a bottle and put him back down. But Tyler and I were committed to teaching him good sleep patterns and habits because we fully believe that it is much much healthier, both mentally and physically, for him and for us, to get a full night's sleep. We were acting in Maddox's best interests always. Through fervent prayer, hand holding, crying and determination we successfully taught Max to sleep 11 hours straight in three nights.

Tyler and I had used the Cry-It-Out sleep method to train Maddox to fall asleep on his own after he woke up in the middle of the night. We had tried this method when he was about 12 weeks old and it worked very well for teaching him to fall asleep on his own at the start of the night. He's been fully consistent with that since them (and was always pretty good about it). Then he was sick a few times and his sleeping habits became very irregular. We didn't have the heart to let him cry in the night when he was sick and gave him bottles and pacifiers to get him to fall back to sleep. It became so exhausting for Tyler and I and Maddox that we decided that as soon as he was better we would get him back on a regular schedule. (Let me stress again, our decision was not at all a selfish one. There were many factors that went into this, most importantly that Maddox himself needed to get healthy sleep at night. Also, our pediatrician has been stressing the importance of this to us since he was about 12 weeks).


So, we tried one night and he cried for over an hour and I couldn't take it anymore so I got up and gave him a bottle. It is so hard to lay in bed and listen to your little honey-baby cry for so long. I had caved. I did that for a few nights when again, Tyler and I decided that Maddox truly needed to learn to sleep because he was so tired and fussy all day long without it. I talked with my friend Kevin who said they had tried this same method with their son and the first night he cried for almost three hours before falling asleep but the second night cried for about ten minutes and by the third night was sleeping through the night.

I felt so much better after talking to him! So the first night (after making sure I fed him a few extra bottles that day so he was fully fed), Tyler and I prayed for strength to do this and felt it was the right thing to do. We put him down after his bedtime routine of bath and bottle and he went down easily, hardly any fussing. A few hours later he woke up crying and that's when Tyler and I both put in our ear plugs and went to sleep. I'm telling you, from the bottom of a mother's heart, I felt so scared and nervous and sick for my little baby crying his eyes out, but I also knew from the bottom of my heart that I was doing what he needed.

I am of the parenting school-of-thought that children should [and need to] be taught to be healthy, independent individuals, and one way to achieve that is by allowing them to learn certain skills on their own, including sleeping. I don't believe this is the only way to parent. This is what works for me and our family so far (future children may prove me a fool). I applaud parents who practice attachment parenting. I think this is another way to raise healthy, independent adults. The method I chose suits my personality more I think, and the personality of my baby.

Tyler and I guessed the first night he probably cried close to three hours. Three heart-wrenching, soul-crushing, finger-biting, hair-ripping hours. And I'm talking about for Tyler and I, not just the baby. The next day Max's little voice was all hoarse because he cried so hard (he has a very throaty cry). Of course we felt horrible for him, but still knew that we were doing the right thing.

The second night he cried for about 20 minutes when he woke up in the middle of the night. By the third night he was sleeping through the night and only letting out one or two little cries (that were about a second long). He is such an amazingly good baby. And I am still amazed it worked that quickly.


It's been a couple of weeks now and I know that his sleep habits could change at any time but I am so grateful that Tyler and I stuck together on this decision. My baby wakes up so happy and smiley every day. He does not wake up crying or frantic. He takes long consistent naps during the day and I believe he is healthier and happier because of it.

Way to go to those moms who do not do what I do, but rush to your baby whenever he cries. I understand that motherly longing and need and bond completely. Like I said above, this is the method we chose, and to some of you it may be shocking. You may even think we are terrible parents. But I assure you, we are being the best parents we know how to be, and happy, smiley, peaceful, sweet little Maddox is all the support we need.

We love him TONS!!!