Poor Sick Boy

It's that time of year again -- colds and coughs and fevers and ear infections and goopy eyes and just overall nastiness. I feel like it hit early this year -- maybe because we have a kindergartener? I don't know. Last weekend Max had a fever of almost 105. He basically spent two days like this. And for anyone that knows him at all knows that this is completely not normal for him at all. He seems to be a little better, the fever broke two days later, but he has a nasty lingering cough and general grumpiness. Lia was sick right before this, too and Tyler's been sick a few times as well. So far I'm the only one that's dodged it, but I may have just jinxed myself! Or maybe my body is waiting until I'm super busy with shoots and church stuff to break down!

Big Heaping Pile of Laundry

This is the post where I'm going to talk about how life being married to a medical student and then a doctor in his first year of residency (intern) is really really lame. This is where I'm going to talk about (maybe even complain a bit) about how having your dad gone all the time is really really hard for kids. This is where I compare this stage of my life to a big heaping pile of laundry. Clean laundry, but still, laundry that needs to be folded and put away and basically looks like a giant mess.

I'm going to vent a little. And I'm not even going to say half of what is on my mind about it all. Only that I want to document what our life has been like for the last few years. Hard. Emotional. Challenging. Not having Tyler around and feeling like I'm single parenting a good 75% of the time (if not more) is really hard. I'm not cut out for that. Tyler's work keeps him away from our family so much. He leaves the house before any of us wake up and is home on some nights barely in time for a late dinner, on others after we're in bed. He misses out on everything. He doesn't get weekends off. He works long stressful hours and isn't around to help out. The kids miss him terribly even if they can't vocalize it. They act out or turn inward and I can see it is because they need him here.

Going through medical school and medical training is like running a marathon and then immediately finishing and running another marathon and then another and then another with barely a breath in between. It feels like a never ending challenge in endurance and strength and one that I feel I fail at all the time. And this isn't even taking into account the financial challenges that come with it. Those are enough to break you completely.

But I'm SO DONE with Tyler having a crazy schedule. I'm SO DONE with being the ONLY parent around. With having to do all of the parenting on my own, every day. The disciplining, the fun making, the meal cooking, the laundry, the cleaning, the taking care of everything here. It is hard to find joy in motherhood and a happy home when really everything just feels incomplete and uneasy. And it's a challenge not to resent Tyler for being gone all the time when I know that he works and does this to provide for us, that eventually it will be more of a normal job and less of a all-consuming life-sucking evil zombie monster.

When I'm sick? Oh well, no one is there to help me out. Tyler can't just call in to work and say his wife is sick and he needs to tend to his kids. It doesn't work that way. When I'm supposed to be in two places at once? Oh well, I have to figure it out or enlist my sister to help so I can do what I need to do. Photo shoot on a Saturday? Time to get a sitter because Tyler is at work again. Church? Been going to church by myself with the kids for months now. And it's all getting really really old. Especially because I know and can almost see that light at the end of the tunnel now. It makes me impatient and depressed.

Yes. I'm venting. I have to vent. I have to include this in our family's story. I have to include that we feel overwhelmed and burdened and incomplete while Tyler is in training. And I know Tyler feels like he is missing out on so much, like he is so disconnected from our family. It's horrible. And I'm not even touching on how I feel about they way they train medical professionals. I can't even go there because in my mind it's just a jumble of bad words and rage.

We really just want our Tyler back. We want to feel like a family unit again, not some disjointed resemblance of a family. And I know it will come. But right now, part of our story is living like this and it's hard and we all hate it and we all will appreciate that much more when we can just be back to our own normal again. And we watch a lot of TV and the kids might get more Happy Meals than normal and I may be indulging in frozen yogurt at Yogurtland more than usual and that's how we cope.

But until then... life is a big pile of jumbled up laundry needing to be dealt with.

Texts and Savvy Teachers

Lia's kindergarten teachers texts and it's seriously awesome!! Whenever I have a question or anything at all I just send him a text and he texts me right back. He even texts me pictures he takes of Lia in class! It seriously rocks! Teachers that embrace technology to communicate with parents are awesome.

This is Lia and her friend Kayla and their creation made out of pattern blocks texted to me by Mr. Rose.

Going Home

While it's true that California has won my heart over completely, New England and Connecticut are deep in my soul. We made a quick trip back east for just a few days and it was really really good! We tried to go last October but Hurricane Sandy totally ruined our plans! Luckily we had Southwest and our ticket credits rolled over and I thought we could use them this year in October when the kids have their fall break for two weeks. Well, I did NOT realize that the ticket credit expires on the day you purchased the tickets, NOT on the day you were going to use the tickets. So we had to use them up before September 26th or they would be lost! So we made a quick trip during parent teacher conference week so the kids only missed half days.

The kids did great on the plane, too! Even with our crazy 4 hour layover. They were tired but they did it and were awesome. 

We got to visit the farm where Mattie takes riding lessons and pet and feed some horses and check out the gorgeous scenery. We literally JUST missed the fall foliage by a few days, but even all the green was breathtaking. I forgot how gorgeous it is. The kids thought we were in the forest the whole time.

We spent a few days at my grandma's house, too, just hanging out and talking and reminiscing. It was SO nice to see everyone! The kids had the joy of going through lots of old junk in junk drawers (that Max tried to collect and bring home) and exploring my grandma's backyard. And yes, my grandma's house still freaks me out!

And here's the honey badger herself!

I also happened to be there on my birthday -- the big THIRTY ONE! Yikes! I'm old. My dad took the kids and I to The Big E -- a big statewide fair that includes Maine, Mass, New Hampshire, Vermont, Rhode Island and Connecticut. We saw a circus there, ate delicious clam chowder and lobster rolls (the kind we can not get here in California) fried dough and pie. The kids also got on the evening news!

Max got picked to be a cheerleader for one of the pigs in the pig races and his pig won! His was behind the whole time but at the last second the leader stopped short of the finish line and Max's pig won. He won a pig snout mask and a pack of Oreos.

We got to watch some sheep sheering, too.

The last day we were there we went apple picking at Bishop's Orchards and went to Strawberry Hollow where we used to get pumpkins when I was a kid. The kids and I got on the news AGAIN, this time being interviewed about what I thought about people coming and stealing apples after the orchards had closed. I got delicious cider and apple pie and even convinced my aunt and grandma to come with us!

I'm so glad we got to go, even if it was just a short trip! Fall is really the best time of year in New England and it's the time of year I miss it the most. I'm so glad we got to go!

Carlsbad Lightning -- The Accelerators

This year we left AYSO behind (we were definitely not impressed) and Max is doing Carlsbad Lightning soccer. Even after the first practice we were loving that the focus is learning skills and getting better instead of just having fun (yeah yeah, I get that fun is important, but honestly I want Max to learn and develop soccer skills and I think that is more important). They won their first two games 8-0 and then 6-0! The next one they lost by two and then won the next 6-4. The last game they lost by a 8-4. But win or lose it's not that important. They play with much larger goals on a larger field and with goalies. Most of the time a goal is scored because they get lucky as opposed to actually shooting. The last game they lost was because the opposing team had a kid that could actually take a shot, but at this age that is still pretty rare. We often win our games because we have a couple of big tall kids that know how to boot the ball far up the field. It definitely helps.

We've been having a little bit of a struggle with Max and the effort he puts into the games. He does a lot less running than normal and a lot less paying attention. It doesn't help that the last two games he's been kind of sick and I think it's hard on him to not have Tyler there to watch (Tyler hasn't had a Saturday off in months so he hasn't been able to see a game yet). While I'm not really one of those sport psycho parents, I do want him to take being on a team and playing seriously. I want him to learn the value and importance of being part of a team and that being part of a team means you try your hardest ALL of the time, not just when someone is yelling at you to. I want him to learn that Tyler and I always expect 100% effort. I think it also may be hard for him that he isn't the best kid on the team anymore. His height is holding him back a little. He's fast but physically when he runs next a kid whose legs are 4 inches longer he's burned. And I think that is hard for him. But all in all he's having a positive experience and learning a lot!

Random iPhone Photos

Here's a bit of a catch-all post of some random photos I want to share!

This boy has committed to reading the entire Book of Mormon before he turns eight. We made a schedule for him so that he can read a little every night and he'll finish just about a week before his eighth birthday. He's doing so well!! He reads every night and is staying on top of it.

On Wednesday nights we go to the Encinitas Station farmers market and stop at one stand only. The Sunny Cal fruit stand. Their fruit is AMAZING. Seriously, SO SO amazing!! The best plums, pluots, peaches, grapes, figs and apples I've ever had in my life. They are an Orange County local grower that is family owned and operated. Their fruit is so sweet and organic and just DELICIOUS. The kids have their favorites -- Lia loves the dapple dandies and Max loves the golden moons. I just love it all!!

A monarch chrysalis we found.

First game of the year! Pretty sure we lost!

Taking advantage of the hot weather and our backyard. It's been really really hard not having Tyler home on the weekends. I try to entertain the kids but really I'm just tired and burned out.

We've instituted a new chore chart, Family Home Evening schedule and allowance that they earn from doing chores. It's going really well! We've also started a new schedule for the day. I set alarms on my phone to go off when it's time to make their beds, brush their teeth, start their homework, read, etc. When they hear the alarms they know exactly what to do and I don't have to yell or nag! It's been really awesome.

SUPER creepy moth in the side yard. Max spotted it.

Lia being an adorable little stinker telling us why she's not a fan of ice cream.

Tyler had some random Wednesday off one week so we went out to breakfast and headed to the beach just the two of us. It was a much welcomed break! The last two Fridays he's had off and he's come to help me teach art in the class and we've gone to our favorite little sushi place in Carlsbad and then just spent some time together. It's nice, but I'd gladly give it up to have him home on the weekends again!!

Sorry for the close-up of me but I liked that Mattie was with me.

I love how we got twin yolks AND bonus, that it looked like a crazy eyed cartoon chicken.

Lia's favorite thing is still going on runs with Tyler. She begs him to take her!! And her favorite thing to do while going on a run is to take a nap.


Cute picture Max drew of Oski!